Divorce: Good or bad

Its been almost 11 months after I came to the United States of America. I landed on Los Angels airport 11th September last year. Working on my research which will lead me to get my degree is my main job. Besides that I am learning western culture and life style of people. Well, there is gig differences between west and east of the world. I am not an expert about this. I will just try to write whatever I see, my experience, and my feeling.

Yesterday I was pretty busy in lab with my work. My lab had group meeting, but due to "ASE" problems, I was not able to attend the meeting all time. Actually I couldn't leave the ASE unattended. After group meeting we went for drinks. At the mean time, my adviser told that it was for her "separation". I got surprised. really? I asked her. "Is it good news or bad news?" In between good and bad, she replied my second question.

My adviser and her ex-husband both are professors working in OSU. She is doing very good in her professional life. They married 18 years ago when they were in their undergraduate and they have two kids. I guess both children are below 5 years. Now, they decided to get separated. Even after they decided to divorce, they are still living in the same house and will stay in the same house one more week. Why did they take this decision? I was wondering about that. She said "May be I will feel better and he will feel better too." I note the point that both of them are not angry to each other. Both of them are matured and they can spend their life according to their will. But I am concerned about the life and future of the two kids. According to her, some time they (kids) will stay with her and some times with their dad. What will be the impact of this situation on the mentality and psychology of the children? May be they will see other children of the same age with same condition and they will tolerate the situation. This is the main difference. In our society parents are more conscious about the future of their children than about themselves. In western societies like America people are more individualistic. In American Society, people want only what is good for themselves, even if it’s not the best for someone else. Society has changed from the importance of family to the importance of me.

I, sometimes, talk about marriage with my friends. Specially female lab mates think about their freedom. They say after marriage they won't get freedom. Responding the 'separation' of my adviser, one my Chinese friends said that after the divorce, she would get more freedom and independence. This shows that even in the modern society, women feel not totally free and that's why they try to be so. This may reflect increasing divorce rate in China as well.

I have seen many American couples who married when they are around 20 years.

Research in social science journals show that each year over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents.
About half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18. Divorce of parents has devastating physical, emotional, and financial effects which will last well into adulthood and affect future generations. Studies show that children from divorced parents exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in crime and drug abuse, and have higher rates of suicide. They perform more poorly in their study.

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  1. The divorce rate in the United States has generally been going up throughout the 20th century until its peak in the late 1970s. The rate of divorce has been slowly declining since that peak. In the most recent data, there were about 20 divorces for every 1,000 women over the age of 15. This number is down from about 23 divorces per 1,000 women in 1978, but it is still significantly greater than the rate of divorce during the 1950s. At that time, the rate of divorce was about 5 per 1,000 women.

    The divorce rate has been climbing in every industrialized country in the world. There are two significant factors affecting the rising divorce rate in the United States and elsewhere: (1) men and women are less in need of each other for economic survival, and (2) gains made in birth control allow men and women to separate sexual activity from having children.

    A variety of factors are producing the current leveling off of the divorce rate. We may be at the end of the effects produced by the emergence of reliable birth control in the 1960s, but there are also other factors. Our population is aging, and in general longer marriages are more likely to remain intact. Also, more young people are cohabiting rather than getting married. The breakup of this kind of relationship does not get recorded as a divorce.

  2. Thanks, this was really helpful!

  3. Thank you for all of your hard work. It helped with my debate a lot!


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